Jan. 14, 2003 - 20:39 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Tomorrow

I ran onto a prayer I shall memorize before I go to bed tonight and keep repeating it through the days ahead.

Dear God, so far today, I've done alright. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper. I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I'm really glad of that !

But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot of help. Amen

Amen, amen, amen.

Wish I had run into that last night. To whoever thought that supplication up I will say, "Thanks, I needed that."

Took just a short glimpse of the paper this morning and see that The Attorney General of our great nation is in Denver. Was he attorneying ? Heck no, he was pushing the, "Faith Based Initiatives." Not trying to help put the bad guys in gaol or anything like that.

Now doggone it, these people were elected to do the peoples will. Do we want to be told all these things will be required of us ? Maybe I read the definition wrong or heard it wrong in Church, I always thought that charity was something you gave out of the goodness of your heart to whoever you wanted to have it. "Let not your left hand know what your right hand does," I think was one phrase I heard. Made me feel that our giving should also be in secret. But then, charities got organized and started getting a certain amount of funding with tax money or whatever. Years ago I found out that our local Community Chest which used to allow one to specify which charity would get our donation and it would be so. Then I found out that apparently the charities all got together and divvied up the take by percentage. Didn't matter where you wanted your money to go, all that your favorite charity got was a percentage of the take. Also I heard, "When you pray, pray in secret." If that charity was faith based gifting by us, nothing could have been, it was not ordered or regulated by the government.

Now it appears that all the various charities of our nation will be in competition to get tax dollars, our tax dollars -- whether we want a particular charity to have our personal tax dollar or not -- it will not make a bit of difference. If the government decides to give a bunch of tax dollars to a certain charity, so it will be, period.

Can't remember whether I put this in my diary or not, but I have finally diagnosed my state. I am not a depressive - nah that's too simple. I am bipolar - manic depressive. My manic height is almost up to where normal people are all the time, and it goes down from there. Again the slide downhill has started and is trying to gain speed, but I will pop a pill and begin the upward trek once more.

I think I won't even glance at the TV, read other than the comics in the paper and avoid the news sources available on the web for awhile. Maybe that will help. Jeez, I hate to do that. I might miss something. I'm just like the little kid fighting bedtime because he fears he might miss something.

Yet, I have a right to be a grouch ! I've got seniority ! So later on I will say the prayer I've memorized, lay me down to sleep and see what's gonna happen Tomorrow . . . . . . . .

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