2000-06-16 - 21:45 MDT

June 16, 2000

Plot

Senior / geriatric denizens of this country - - - Unite ! We are tired of the young folk running /ruining this country. We must gather round, beef up the AARP to its fighting strength, enlist the older citizenry into a compact, organized strike force.

It should be easy to take over most every aspect of government and commerce. We should find it easy to oust the clock watching paycheck hopefuls, the apathetic civil servants, the quacks, quarks and dorks.

First thing we have to do is the strategy and logistics thingy, and make practical plans for accomplishing the work the jump around kids - 30 and 40 years old do by main strength. I think it will be easy to take over, we go in waves, first wave occupy the spaces vacated by the coffee break brigade, mop up during lunch hour and clean the lingering bosses out at 5 PM. All of you that have riding lawn mowers - remove the blades gear them up for messenger service and light hauling, those with golf carts, put trailer hitches on them and do the heavy hauling. Those with Mo-Peds can go into the tight places the other units can't go. All you R / C people get busy adapting your gear for the purpose of operating the heavy equipment, back hoes, fork lifts, etc. from a lawn chair with its triple purpose umbrellas to protect us from rain, snow and sun.

One of the problems which will have to be solved is the farming, ranching, orcharding, dairying and keeping Colonel Sanders feathered friends producing eggs and drumsticks. Eliminate autos and suv's maybe even motorcycles. The riding lawmmowers and golf carts are good enough to get around town.

Hey, Gofer Mofor, a question old man, where the hell are we going to get the doctors and nurses ? We are all too old to be trained as doctors and the ladies are getting sort of burnt out on housework, child raising, grand kid keeping and hungry husbands fed, bedded and quiet. So what do we do now ?

You gotta point Al, lets go down to the tavern, have a few beers and join the ladies at the bingo parlor. Meanwhile, during the next week each of us must work on the master plan and its mode of execution. Next time John, you bring the beer, Bill, you bring the snacks, Ed, you bring the horseshoes, checker boards and cards. Thus equipped we should be able to put this thing together - - - or have a hell of a lot of fun trying. Yes, Mary, coming.

Shucks fellas, meeting adjourned . . . . .

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