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"The Wondering Jew"

2000-12-03 - 23:00 MST

December 3, 2000

Doldrums

Did a few things today that I shouldn't have . . . . .knew better than to do . . . . .and have ended up in the palace of pain again. Damned old fool. But rather than see Heather up on a step ladder . . . . .Oh, ya do what ya gotta do, and then pop a pill or two and pray that the next time doesn't happen.

So, Diarist awards are with us and deserving writers are where they should be, and I am happy for them. It is amazing how much thought goes into these journals, text, design and colors. Labors of love I am sure, and it seems to show.

Also quite plain to me is how each of us look differently at things, even though we are in agreement pretty much, we seem to approach things from a slightly different angle. Of course, some times we have opposite views and seem to civily agree to disagree. If any table pounding goes on it won't go through the keyboard.

Reading all these journals, seeing the different perspectives is a happy thing for me to do. I keep learning how to scan situations and events a tad more accurately and express myself a wee bit better (I think).

Over and over again I am struck by our uniqueness, separate and yet together mostly. Made from the same thing yet flashing like the sparkles off a diamond as it is turned in the light. Mulling over life situations and problems are being thought out loud (via keyboard) and sometimes being discussed between people, and sometimes like I do -- talking to myself, trying to arrive at a sensible line to follow.

Well, that last pain pill is kicking in and it is to bed for me, to sleep carefully and to be relieved of the sharpest of the pains. Thinking under fire is not done well by me when I'm groggy from the seldom taken Flexaril in combination with the Tylenol / codeine combination, but it is warranted tonight for this damned old reprobate. Wading the Sargasso, fighting the Doldrums . . . . . .

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