2001-01-15 - 21:36 MST

January 15, 2001

Holiday

I guess that must be it, Martin Luther King and the years past seem to demand a day of quiet contemplation.

Then early on I went into a blank navel contemplation (Mine's an innie) pondering the fate of the universe and angels dancing on the point of a pin, finally dozing off and falling off my chair.

I went south years ago when -- Gee, I don't know the proper, popular nomenclature for people of African descent -- had to go to a window at the side of a restaurant to buy food, when there were separate restrooms for Anglos. Down there where tolerance meant a white who felt superior above everything, gritting his teeth and tolerating (which also carried hate with it) the man of African descent. I remember the scorn shown, and I remember something a gentle Southerner said once to me, "There is nothing lower than "poor white trash." After several years I began to understand what he meant.

This is too large a subject for me to go into tonight, not worthy or educated to do more than tell it like I see it. But I remember the films I saw which demonstrated the bigotry, bias and cruelty that went on in the South. I listened to the philosophy of the "average" man and I also became friends to several people of African descent who were hard working God fearing gentle people who feared greatly the trouble the civil rights movement might stir up and the consequences for them all.

I also remember the disrespectful attitude of many of our troops in Vietnam (of any ethnic group), and the low regard they had for the "gooks" and were so discourteous to them as if they were unwanted people in their own land.

How on earth can we more or less educated and supposedlly well raised and taught people have such a low respect for others just slightly different than ourselves ? But then I remember the Diaspora, the Inquisition, the Protestant fight and flight -- to a new land and enforced the freedom to worship by others, as long as they worshipped their way.

It seems as if the humans are not happy or relaxed unless they are looking down on some group or other, and I guess my scorn for the way some people do -- paints me with the same brush. What gall I have to feel scorn for others. I feel guilty for a thing or two I said in this entry. But I was saying my feelings, but looking them over as I said them. This entry is twisting itself into knots and screaming at me, "Judge not lest ye be judged."

I guess that my distrust of self makes it necessary to take a holiday, and remember and try to learn to care more for others.

Remember Ghandi ! It has been a good Holiday . . . . .

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