Contact Kelli,
temporary manager
of Doug's
"The Wondering Jew"

2001-02-12 - 20:43 MST

February 12, 2001

Cabever

After a few really snowy days and unacceptable low temperatures, today when the sun came out and the ambient temerature on the patio was fairly pleasant I made the suggestion to Heather, "Let's go down to Cherry Creek and do some of the shopping you want to do.

First the Queen Lady of our home felt my forehead, looked in my eyes and said, "what on earth is bothering you ?" I replied, "Nuthin' jes thought ya wanted ta go." "Weather ain't bad out, so, ya wanna go ?

Needless to say I had to stand to one side as she made for the door. We went. Arriving at her first stop, "Cooksmart" I said, "I'll sit in the car and read while you shop."

Now try to tell me that women do not plan ahead, far, far ahead. She said, "No, c'mon I need you to help look for a jar opener, please." Now when I deal with a woman with a whim of steel and a wounded tigresses propensity to create havoc and bloodshed when her young are attacked or she is crossed by her husband, this docile, harmless creature followed her into the store. Right off the bat (?) where did that catch phrase originate and exactly why is it used in that context ? Okay, right off the bat I found the only jarlid unscrewer they had and handed it to Heather and said, "Well I am going out to the car and read." Heather said, "There are the stove burner covers to get yet and I need you with me." Rather than delve into and get covered with blood and debris I meekly stayed holding her skirt hem, sucking my thumb as she shopped." Finally this whiny old man asked, "Just why Heather, do you need me in the store while you pick out something where only you can make the decision ?"

With a sparkle in her eye she replied, "I was hoping you would buy them for me." Wheels began going around in my head and the gears ground a bit, finally, ka-ching ! I will be buying Heather something she wants me to get her for Valentine's day.

A kind hearted lady working in the store was near by when she heard me tell Heather, "Well Hon, you look around until you find what you want and I am going to hunt a place to sit." The lady guided me to a stool in front of a library of cooking and food related subjects, brought me coffee and delicately left me there.

Books, even food related books manage to fill my time while waiting. I soon became interested in a book dealing with sake (Japanese rice wine) and its making. Sipping coffee and very comfortable in my own little world time passed nicely. Finally Heather came after me and said, "They don't have what I want, lets go."

I went to the counter to ransom the jar lid twister and noticed a real neat state of the art looking thing and just had to see what it was. I had dreamed of finding the equivalent of a plant mister to mist olive oil on my salads and veggies, and that is what it is. It has clean, simple lines and I stood at the counter and took the demo apart to see how it works. I bought it causing a twenty to collapse into small change.

So, her Valentine present is non-existent and Bastion is ahead one olive oil mister. On our way to the car I said to Heather, "Thanks lady for my nice Valentine's day present." "I'm not done yet, lets go to the Dollar Store," which we did. She parked in the shade in front of the store and kindly and sweetly said, "Go ahead and read Basty, I'll come out and get you when I am ready to buy the store." She wasn't in there too long before she came out and fetched the holder of the wallet. Geez, I couldn't believe it, her four burner covers weren't over four dollars.

We went to the car, "Heather," I said, "Happy Valentine's day." Her reply to ol' grouchy was, "Any time you suggest that we go do any kind of shopping is a present to me in itself." When I leave her Valentine card on her chair there will be twenty bucks to buy whatever she wants, and I will be willing to chip in more if needed.

So the high temperature occupant of the log hut once again - - - at a cost cured his "Cabever."

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