Contact Kelli,
temporary manager
of Doug's
"The Wondering Jew"

August 31, 2001 - 23:39 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Atten - hut

I never thought much of standing at attention for long periods of time, or operating by the hurry up and wait system. But sometimes that is all that a guy can do.

Take this matter of oxygen. Someone at my HMO dropped the ball and gave Apria my Post Office Box number and no telephone number. I had been told to wait for a call from Apria which I had been doing. But feeling that the wait was getting a bit long, I called Apria - Nah, they had no record of oxygen for me. I called Kaiser about it and after several calls a nurse said,"Yeah, it is prescribed for you but all we have is XXXXXX Denver, Colorado. TILT - - every sheet of my record has my home address and phone number on it -- so what happened ? Finally I got a call back from the nurse and was told that the order had been faxed to Apria just then.

A period of hours elapsed while Heather and I were consolidating stuff for storage with the whole apartment in a mess. About eight thirty in the evening a man called from the lobby and said he had my oxgen and was ready to make the set up. Heather told him there was nowhere to put it right than and we both had appointments all day Thursday and told him we would be home all day today (Friday) would he please come back then. Friday rolled around and about 12:30 I called them to try to get an idea when the man would be here. Comments and questions back and forth and finally the man said, "We don't make setups until two in the afternoon." I asked him to have his driver call and let me know about what time he would be here.

You know standing lip deep in loose runny mud, praying that no one would make waves. Several more calls to customer service with assurance that a return call would be made to me in a few minutes. Finally after eight fifteen or so I told the gal in customer service that no one had returned our call and would she please get hold of whoever she needed to so that I would have some idea of just when someone would be around here to deliver and set up.

Time passed, creakily. I got a call from the Delivery / set up man. He was lost somewhere near our apartment complex, he and I had not the same native language which brought about a difficulty in communication. Finally he got the point of where to go and I told him I would be out in front of my building waiting for him.

Time passed, and re-passed and dawdled. I walked down the sidewalk looking for an Apria truck, here he came slowly around the bend. Voila ! we connected. By about nine forty five it was a done deal, machine in, bottles in, cannula dripping from my nostrils. Machine set and instructions given to me.

Now, here it is after midnight already and I am still stumbling and foot catching in and around the hose. Not complaining, just another knot in the rope of learning.

I will have to check with The Shadow to see if he knows when I will become accustomed to the new boat anchor.

Among other things I learned that at the rate oxygen was consumed passively a tank would last me five hours -- with exercise two or three hours. That is enough for me to be hauled to the airport, wheelchaired to the gate, be flown and picked up at the other end and still have a little left over. Yo ho - a trip to Eugene, Oregon to see daughter is now possible if I can rent the biggie to run on while there. One day at a time, one step at a time and onward I go.

It is a hell of a thing when some one makes me stand at Atten - hut . . . . .

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