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"The Wondering Jew"

Nov. 16, 2001 - 07:15 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Anne

She sat two seats over in a row further than mine from the windows. I was anonymous in my adoration of her. She, looking my way would be peering into the light and wouldn�t be able to see that I was looking at her with full adoration turned on high beam. To my little boy eyes she walked in beauty and angelic grace.

She was such a sweet and gentle girl who always walked home between two brawny, big brothers who physically resented a male who would look at her, Heaven forbid that a boy should dare to attempt speaking to her. But in an unrecognizable way love at arms length was a jaunt into the esoteric world of those older than me. It was probably about my level of social development with which I could deal. - - - Whatever - - - my heart was a skyrocket of love, soaring on high leaving a bright trail of coruscation in a midnight sky. It was pretty stiff for a boy in late second or early third grade. It truly uplifted me into seeing the broad expanse of love yet to be walked, a thing apart from family love, of love for my Mom, which was my constant.

Was I on a cloud nine romantic sortie into terra incognita ? Or was it perhaps my first inkling of the possibility of caring for a female person other than my cousins and my Mom. ? All I knew was that I wanted to be by her side always. No hugging, no kissing, which were not really anything I was acquainted with yet. I would have given my life for her safety and serenity. Along with that was the awestruck realization that not all girls had cooties.

I would forget while in play with my chums, only to be smitten again when returning to class.

Of course along the way to manhood there were affairs of the heart for me one that almost destroyed me, an event in high school. Our plans to elope were discovered and disarmed by her Mother. - - - - finis.

My life was changed though. One thing was that I was no longer in love with that particular person -- I�d just been in love with love. Later after a year or so I started to work in the process of growing up Then I met Heather. A few years after we were married thinking back on my early years I saw that my early efforts to become a human culminated with Heather who taught me the post graduate course on true love. But it all began in the foggy past with Anne . . . . . . . . . . .

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