Mar. 15, 2002 - 21:14 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Shelf Life

The phrase in our domicile, "Its that time again," can have as many meanings as there are words. The Itchy Revolting Scorpions have been encountered and satisfied. for this year. Birthday not near. So what time is it ? He looked at the clock and said, "Its about nine fifteen PM Friday night."

That was last week. Also that was not the "time" I was referring to. Periodically Heather and I do things that are necessary, boring sometimes but do give a "cents off," benefit. So this year is the year we do the AARP (excuse me, bit of dyspepsia) 55 Alive thingy. And it does cut down on our auto insurance premium.

But we wouldn't think of going into it in a down in the dumps mood. And it is a feeling that must be fended off for the two afternoons of the seminar. Most of us who attend have been driving many years and are survivors to say the least and pretty well know the rules of the road as it were. A good part of the time is spent telling us how our reflex time is about half shot, we can't see so good anymore, medicines have more of an effect on geriatric goobers. A real ego boosting look at reality. Stuff we have been trying to more or less ignore since the last time we attended. Lo, it is brought to our attention that we live in a state of feeblery which grows worse as time goes by.

These sessions of jollity are interspersed with methods of coping with or rearranging our lifestyle to avoid bearing the burden of crunchy crashes. Constant reminders which we are encouraged to remember the, "three second," spacing for safe driving in traffic. First time I ever tried that I almost drifted into a headon. Once mastered it is valuable.

Some new stuff now, how to cope with aggressive drivers and the insane apes who fall into fits of road rage. My own road rage builds up to the expletive deleted stage in heavy traffic when I am in the midst of inconsiderate, selfish, inattentive, preoccupied, nincompoops. But in the cool weather with the windows up, using just words, no one knows they are being sworn at using the vilest of cursewords. In the summer time I accomplish this mentally, thank God. My safety valve, not engaged in out loud when kids are in the car. But it does allow me to go down the road without my blood pressure rising too high.

Kidding aside though, many, many valuable tips are brought out and re-emphasized on safe and defensive driving. Things we know presented to us in a different light and putting the spark in our aware alertness.

The most sobering part of the whole thing probably, was a short session on deciding when to give up driving and the things that will also have to be given up, the methods of public transportation we can use etc. Most of us will be alone when we give it up and due to expenses and scheduling and bodily condition and strength, the decision of when to give up driving is a big, hairy thing to think about.

But for now, Heather and I have recharged and increased once again our Shelf Life . . . . . . . .

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